Four years ago I would’ve told you grief and joy cannot coexist. There was no room for both of them in my heart. Grief took over my heart and life. I didn’t want to live because the pain of missing Josh and the thought of living life without him was excruciatingly indescribable. I couldn’t see past the pain of each day for any hope to ever come in….let alone joy.
The holidays are hard, especially Christmas, followed by Josh’s birthday two days after. We’ve tried to make the holidays something again, but it just wasn’t there. As Holy Spirit nudged us for something different this past year…this past Christmas we left in an RV and headed to Kentucky to visit The Ark Encounter and several other places along the way back down to Florida. Each place we visited was full of Christmas lights that glowed with holiday magic and spectacular displays. Each destination seemed to offer the perfect setting of creating new memories and moments of bonding stronger together as a family. It was at our second destination I realized God had a purpose for this Christmas vacation. He was showing me grief and joy were coexisting in my heart. My heart was enjoying all of our twinkling moments.
How severe grief and joy coexist don’t make any sense and it’s unexplainable, but it can happen. It feels guilty. It feels good. You need it. And you want it to feel some kind of relief and good again. And it does happen if we keep our heart open to the new buds of joy that God is patiently waiting to enter in for us at just the right time.