We are approaching four years soon from losing our signature Joshua; and I confess sometimes it still feels like yesterday we lost him, and also feels like forever that we’ve seen him.
I’ve received so much healing from Holy Spirit in these past several years; but I confess I still at times feel utterly lonely, empty, questioning, angry, and numb. Some days I feel like “I got this” and other days I feel like I just float through.
Sometimes my heart feels so steady and I feel like I’m making progress through this painful grief journey; and I confess other times I wonder if I’m ever going to make it through the severe pain of missing my Joshie Pie.
I have learned to smile, laugh, and dream again; and I confess it just doesn’t feel like it used to when life was normal and happy with Josh being here with us.
I’m keeping my heart open to love and sharing our tragedy story with others, believing God is using every word to encourage others; but I confess I still at times want to hide away and stay to myself because it feels easier.
As I put one foot in front of the other making it day by day…the trauma still affects me severely to this day. This grief journey is so real, raw, messy, and lonely; and I confess I need prayers and encouragement.
This is my heart being raw and honest with each person reading this as we journey our way through our new, undesired life without our precious son.
Hugs, Love & Blessings ~ Audrey